The Love Affair, Part II

     Yes, you've taken the relationship to the next level. At this stage some of you will realize that you're actually more comfortable with the occasional fling than with this level of commitment. There may be a few more “weekend trips” in the future, but ultimately Italy will become nothing more than a recurring one night stand, if that. Know that she will never hold this against you. Others of you, however, love how real she has now become, so fallible, and so human, ultimately even more beautiful and charming for her imperfections. You will be ready for the next phase: moving in together.

     So you start searching Craigs List for short term apartment rentals in Rome. Italy can be a big spender and she will tempt you to live outside of your means. You will have to hold firm and resist that renovated one-bedroom apartment with high ceilings, a crystal chandelier, and a terrace overlooking the Spanish Steps for €800/night, no matter how much she pouts. Instead choose the sunny studio apartment in Monteverde (which you've never heard of, but you googlemap it and it looks central enough) for €1300/month (and FYI which is my mother's and which I actually DO rent out on a short term basis). A relationship is about compromise, and the most important thing is that you get to be together. But be forewarned that she often forgets to put the cap back on the toothpaste and tends to leave her shoes in the middle of the floor.

     When you arrive it's like you've been reunited with a piece of yourself. The food, the architecture, the history, the narrow cobbled streets.... You're high on love. It's magical. You explore everything on foot. You want to know everything there is to know about her, her deepest secrets and her most hidden piazzas. Gradually you grow more comfortable with the new situation. You relax into it. You're able to spend quiet time together not doing anything in particular other than laying out in the park on a blanket or enjoying an ice cream cone while people watching on a bench. Yes, she led you to believe that you could get away with not paying for public transportation, thus causing you to get a ticket one day, but you're onto her ways so you provide the ticket controllers with a fake address in the US for them to send the ticket to. You feel yourself growing closer to one another everyday that you spend together.

     On the other hand, for some this arrangement will be the harbinger of death. The panhandling gypsies on the tram, the idea of a red light as merely a suggestion to stop rather than a command, waiting half an hour for a bus and then three show up in a row, the impossibility of running simple errands between the hours of 13:30 and 16:30 because the country is taking a nap, the use of military time!!!.... These may all just turn out to be insurmountable personal differences. People who feel this way will need to take a break. They tried, they gave it their all, but it just wasn't meant to be.

     However, for those of you who dread the approaching end of those magical three months the way you dreaded the approach of your 30^th birthday, the final step is almost inevitable. You want to make your love official and declare it to the world. It's not easy to give it all up, sell your belongings, and follow your heart to a new country, but it's like you've been left with no other choice. Your friends throw you one last hurrah before you leave the nest to begin your life together, looking forward to the day that they will come visit and get to have a little fling of their own. You bid your country goodbye, parting on good terms and promising to keep in touch. And that's when the real adventure begins....